Moving Forward and Speaking for Myself

Note, everything that I said here are in the POV that I’m still in the role as a Learning Specialist Apprentice (Trainer). I’m also bad at doing essays so please expect lots of grammar, POV mismatch, and punctuation errors.

Moving forward is scary but needed.

Yes, I’ll say it. I’ll speak for myself.

This is for the 1 year and 7 months that I have embraced a role without getting any compensation improvement despite of my contributions.

As I write this, I’m preparing to step out of my comfort zone and embrace the changes ahead. After careful reflection on my current role and the skills I bring to the company. Skills I feel are often taken advantage of. I’ve made the difficult decision to resign. This blog marks my final week here, as I move forward toward a new chapter.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am deeply grateful for the opportunities and experiences this position has offered. The memories, the perks, and the freedom I’ve had here are truly irreplaceable. Yet, despite all of this, I can no longer ignore the toll that my responsibilities have taken on my mental health.

There are specific reasons behind my decision that I cannot fully disclose as of the moment, though two of them are critical: burnout and compensation. These are the thorns that have ultimately pushed me to seek change. Facing the reality of nearly unsustainable finances while preparing to take on even greater responsibilities has solidified my resolve in making this necessary choice.

Let’s start with the eventual burn-out. I’ve consistently given more than 101% to every project to projects far beyond the scope of my job grade whether you see it or not. I’ll give myself more than enough credit for all hardwork that I’ve put through even if someone in my team will scrutinize it. Yes, I know who you are. From my passion in teaching, video editing to game development and website creation, I’ve poured my skills and passion into multiple assignments in the hope of fair compensation. Yet, despite going above and beyond, I’ve received little more than congratulation. This extremely pushed me to the edge of thinking how low can I set the bar towards my compensation. Commendable, yes, but not something that covers my rent or day-to-day needs.

It’s been disheartening. Imagine undertaking complex projects like game development, typically handled by entire teams, and receiving no meaningful compensation. I stayed silent, hoping the team or organization would eventually recognize my value and adjust my compensation accordingly. I was even expecting the bare minimum that in every project that I do or have done, I will receive allowance for the usage of those tools. Yet, here I am, knowing that the same work could earn ten times my current pay elsewhere. This situation has left me feeling exploited, with only the hope of future acknowledgment keeping me here, the hope that has now faded.

And so, I’m ready to move forward as difficult as it is, to seek opportunities that reignite my passion without exhausting it. I’m ready to work in a place where my skills are valued both professionally and financially. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned here, both the good and the difficult, and I will carry them with me as I begin this new journey. I’m so thankful for the friendships I’ve made along the way and will always cherish the memories with my team.

Don’t think that you’re special just because you work more than you should without being compensated